nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We need to get me chipped asap
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
