Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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