I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
