whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize