I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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