drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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