also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize