I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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