He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
