Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
