Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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