We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
