whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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