Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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