I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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