dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize