i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize