My underwear smells like fireworks.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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