no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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