woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
