Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
