Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
