her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize