Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
