i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
