I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
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