I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
All the doctor said was why
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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