please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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