the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
