If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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