When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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