i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
