Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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