South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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