He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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