There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
