8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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