You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Even my vagina gasped.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
