So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
