i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
