Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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