textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Randomize
