you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
