my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
