You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
