What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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