sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
