i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize