I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
