i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
