After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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