I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize