He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
