even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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