I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
