If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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