I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
