ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
