OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
