Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
