thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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