I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
