I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
