Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
