I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
