Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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