he wants to bone in the snuggie
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
