he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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