Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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