I wanna passion pit in your ass
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
