Sry I called you an 8
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
