so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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