the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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