I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We need to get me chipped asap
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
