spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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